Loki needs a bath

We wash the dog.

My guy takes Loki out.

She rolls in something putrid.

We wash the dog again.

I've come to terms with many of my dog's strange behaviors, but this one may make me lose what little mind I have left.

A few nights ago, my guy brings the dog back in smelling like she played at the sewage plant. He tells me she rolled around in something, and we both shake our heads in commiseration.

The problem is - she smells so bad that no one wants to go near her. She needs a bath - badly.

Nowadays, this isn't nearly as much fun or as cute as it was when she was a pup we could wash in the sink. She's damn near 80 pounds now, and still growing.

Since I have the luck of being unemployed, and the dog being my only company for most of my waking hours, I got to give her another bath.

It took three scrubbing to get the smell off the dog.

The good news: I only almost puked twice during the whole process, as the smell seemed to be amplified as I washed it off our dog.

During the ordeal, I got the "sad, abused puppy eyes," and Loki looked at me as if to say, "Why do you torture me so?"

For the whole bath, I'm scolding her about rolling in whatever she rolled in, trying to keep my mind off this smelly, wet, bad dog.

After her bath, we had the usual fight with the towel (She attacks the evil towels that trys to dry her off), the excited puppy laps (this is where she runs around the house like a maniac because she's clean) and the struggle to put back on her collars (she has three - flea, ID, and choke).

What happens the first time I take her walking after her bath?

She tries to roll around in something that stinks. I had tackle her to get her off whatever awful smell she'd found.

I would like to say again for the record that the cats don't do this crap.